


Not Your Ghost Anymore

by mihrsuri



Category: The Tudors (TV)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gaslighting, Gen, Grief, HENRY YOU DOUCHECANOE, Mentions of Cancer, Miscarriage, Modern Day Tudors, Other, all the wives being friends, mtau
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 01:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2754563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mihrsuri/pseuds/mihrsuri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katherine, Anne and the black hole of Henry. (Title from 'Jar of Hearts' by Christina Perri)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Your Ghost Anymore

Katherine knows there's always been speculation about why she turned a blind eye. It was never ambition, not really (if anything her pragmatic, political side, the side that has watched her parents all her life would have said 'leave him - gracefully but leave him and use it as leverage without seeming to him and crush him just the same') - it was because she loved him. And because back then a part of her still thought it was her fault.

(All those miscarriages, all those rounds of IVF. Their little stillborn baby boy. He'd made her feel she'd failed but it wasn't hard when she herself felt it, painfully, horribly).

She'd turned a blind eye because in the end she loved him. And he always came back to her and their child and he was so loving and he loved Mary so so much it makes her heart hurt - "my pearl, my princess" he called their daughter - Henry would beam it as he came back laden with gifts and smiles and Katherine can tolerate the other women and the coldness because well, it's hard for Henry, she thinks. No more children, a wife who has a more prestigious career than he does (though she'd given that up, when Henry asked her ('can't you focus on our child darling - surely she's more important')) and he does work away from home for a long time.

He'd always come back to her. And then there's Ms Blount. Henry had been using a different name and had spent a great deal of money setting her up in a comfortable little house. He'd certainly spent enough on the baby boy. Henry, who she'd always thought would come back to her and their child has another family he is entirely entirely entirely happier with than with her. Katherine makes herself look through the photographs and chokes back her tears in Henry's hearing. Henry doesn't even bother to deny it.

The divorce, when it happens appears to be entirely amicable and friendly. Just a mutual parting of the ways, greatest of respect and love, both focusing on their child (Wolsey, the great political fixer makes this his last act. The truth behind the Fisher-Campaggio report does not come out until Katherine Howard, years later). And it's true...and not. Henry screams that Mary isn't his, that if Katherine wants to make this difficult he'll bring down hell on her, that she'd better shut the hell up and smile and make sure none of this ever gets out or he'll make sure she never sees Mary again.

So Katherine smiles for the cameras because the last thing she wants is for Mary to hear her father deny her (Katherine could fight on her own times but there's a part of her that doesn't want to because...because she loves Henry. Because Henry is charming and because she is so so tired. So tired).

So Katherine Aragon nee Tudor smiles her warrior smile (because she is a warrior - a soldier's daughter on both sides of her family) and behaves with all the grace, dignity and brilliance that her former husband could never manage.

(When Ms Blount weeps over a tiny coffin her lover grieves by himself and personally arranges for her to leave the country and never return, comfortably paid off. He has no more use for her after all. There's a new novelty, a new girl - though this girl is one whose name he does not bother to remember).

When Katherine finds the lump in her breast she does not weep. She cannot weep. She will wear her armour for her Mary and that will never, ever change. Mary who has been sent off to boarding school on the other side of the world because her former husband does not want to have her near, because he does not want a reminder. She is allowed to write letters to her daughter, to have visits but somehow in the haze of her grief she had agreed to her husband having primary custody ('It's better for her Kate, you know it's better for her - I'm going to keep the house and all her friends are here - she's never seen your family') and she does not want to badmouth Mary's father to her. So she'd agreed and now? Now she can barely see her daughter.

(Henry manages to keep it quiet. He certainly has people for that).

The first time he hits her, Anne feels it like a shock. And then she's just dead to it, sure she deserves it even though she's read a thousand words that say otherwise because it's different when you live it. It's different when you love him and he's charming and sweet and wonderful and so good at explaining and she'd believed in him so so much. That he's going to change the world for the better, is Senator Tudor. And really, she is too argumentative. ("It's not your job to worry about Mary, I'm her father - you should worry about our children. Why the fuck did you make friends with her - honestly Anne, you soft hearted little idiot") and too naive. Too starry eyed ("I thought you were better than this Anne") and honestly, Anne, you look like shit, put a smile on your face will you.

And Anne tries, she really does. She tries so hard. Tries not to argue about the nanny for Beth, tries to moderate her opinions and focus on being Henry's idea of a proper wife. But she wants - she's always wanted and yearned and reached for her voice. So she keeps writing to Mary and finds Mary's mothers address for her and she breastfeeds Beth and keeps debating Tom about policy direction and asks her husband why he cheats.

(The last time. The last time. The last time when she woke up in hospital and the baby was gone and there were divorce papers on the table and she cannot stop crying but when she walks out through the media throng she is dry eyed and entirely composed).

(That's the point of monsters - they are so very very charming).

(She says this to Katherine, later and Katherine does not argue and they share an embrace, softly, quietly).


End file.
